Why you must be willing to receive if you want more from life

You say you want better health, more wealth and greater happiness, but your life seems to reflect the exact opposite.

There is a sense of deep struggle around your life and you just can’t seem to manifest the things you truly desire, no matter what you do. This is a source of deep frustration for you, because you see others around you who seem to attract abundance with ease. You are becoming tired from the ‘push’ of life and you have a deep knowing that life should be easier.

You know you are doing everything right, so what is happening

The answer is simple… it’s because you’re blocking these things from appearing in your life and you have not opened yourself up enough to receive!

It may seem ludicrous that you would be blocking the very life you so desperately want and I am sure your natural reaction is to deny this….. but what are the other options? That life is unfair, that it’s not your fault, that good things don’t happen to you? This puts you in a powerless victim mode, are you sure you would prefer to sit in that camp?

I’ve worked with enough people now to be able to see the patterns and of course, I’ve been there too! In fact the minute that life begins to feel hard, when I know I am doing all the right things, I start looking at where I am blocking myself with the simple things and choosing ‘not to receive’ or feeling like ‘its not safe to receive’. Then I work on removing the blocks, opening my heart and releasing fear.

As the saying goes – how you do anything is how you do everything – Derek Sivers, so if you’re blocking the small things, it’s very likely you will be blocking the bigger things!

So let me ask you a question:

How are you with receiving a compliment, accepting help, or having someone really be present and listen? Does the thought of any of these make you feel uncomfortable? You wouldn’t be alone with this, lets explore each one of these things a little more:

• Compliments – these are hard to receive, because it contradicts how you feel about yourselves inside and so creates discomfort. The natural reaction is to then push back the compliment. Lets look at this example – ‘You look amazing in that dress’ and your instinct is to say ‘oh no, this old thing…. I just found it in the back of my wardrobe, its the only thing I could find to wear today’.…a receiving response would be a simple ‘thank you’.

TIP: Graciously accept compliments – practice saying thank you, even if you don’t believe the compliment, accept it anyway. Over time this will become easier for you.

• Accepting help  – this is a very hard pattern to break, especially if you are used to being strong and independent. It makes you feel as if you are failing by not being able to do the task alone, and so often people will choose struggle over feeling like a failure. There are clearly links to over achievement and perfectionism here and for some the sense that they don’t deserve help.  A good example would be someone offering to help you complete a task (whether at home or work) and your first reaction, is ‘don’t worry I can do it’, OR ‘thanks but I can manage’.

TIP: The next time someone offers help, accept it – enjoy the process of working together to get something completed. Focus on gratitude that someone in your life cares enough to support you and wants to help.

• Allowing people to be fully present for you – this was my own personal struggle, because having people be fully present for me and really listen to what I was thinking and feeling was hugely uncomfortable. I would always try and switch the focus of the conversation back to them (Maybe that’s why I do the job I do!) – for me it was about not feeling as if people could really be that interested in me and that I was a bit boring and odd because I looked at the world differently, but whatever the reason, I was blocking…. and this doesn’t help with flow of bigger things.

TIP: When the focus of attention comes to you, accept it – don’t try and immediately shift it onto someone else. Start to share a little of yourself, this small thing will have a huge impact on your relationships, because when you choose to share something of you, people feel connected to you.

If you want more health, wealth or happiness, start small and simple. Get used to how it feels and then do more and more of it, soon there will be no stopping you!

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If you have any questions then just let me know.

Until next time!

Marie